Privacy | The Better Father

What we keep

Your account: your email address; the first name, time zone, reminder hour and program version you give us; your forum name if you set one; whether you've turned off daily emails; your referral code; and when you signed up and were last in.
Your work: what you write in the tools, your log, which days you've opened and finished, and your conversations with the guide.
Purchases: what you bought, when, for how much, your email, and Stripe's reference for the payment. Card details go to Stripe and never reach us.
Email records: which emails we sent you (the address, which email it was and its subject line) and whether it was sent, kept for six months.
The free quiz for dads: a daily count of how many people start and finish it, which of the six results they got, and the campaign tag of the link they came from, with nothing that identifies you. If you ask for tonight's suggestion by email, we keep your email address, your first name if you give it, and your answers, so we can send it and the short emails that follow over the next month.
Abuse limits: to stop abuse, the sign-in, checkout, code, quiz and email sign-up forms count requests by IP address (sign-in also by email address). Those counts are deleted after about two days.

Why

To run the program: to open the right day, show you your own work and your log, let the guide know what day you're on and what you've written, send the emails you've asked for, and handle payments and refunds. We don't sell your information. What you write goes only to the services that run the program, below, and forum posts go to the members you post them to. Apart from Meta's pixel, described under Cookies, we share information only with the services below, which process it on our behalf.

Who processes it

Cloudflare hosts the site and the database where all of the above is stored.
Stripe handles payments.
Resend sends our email.
Anthropic provides the AI model behind the guide. When you talk to the guide, we send Anthropic your message, the recent conversation, the day's reading, your first name, the program version you chose, your start date and how many days you've marked done, a short summary of each tool you've filled in, your six most recent log entries (up to 400 characters each) and your local time, so it can write the reply. A message that matches the safety screen's high-risk patterns isn't sent to Anthropic.
Meta receives the pixel events described under Cookies.

Who can see your work

You. The people who run The Better Father can see your email and first name, when you signed up and were last in, which day you're on, how many messages you've sent the guide, which emails we sent you, and whether you've bought, given or redeemed a code, so we can help you and keep the lights on. They also see what the safety screen catches, described below, and forum posts, so they can moderate. We don't read your tools, your log or your conversations. If someone gave you your seat as a gift, they can't see anything you write, or whether you're doing it.

The members' forum

The forum is the one place where what you write is shared, and only if you post there. Other members can read your posts under the display name you choose; your email and your real name are never shown. Forum posts are kept with the rest of your writing, are included when you download your data, and are removed if you delete your account. The same safety screen applies: if a post suggests someone may be in danger, it isn't published, you're shown crisis resources, and a person on our side reads it. We may hide posts that break the forum's few rules.

Safety: the one exception

If something you write to the guide suggests that you, your kid or someone else may be in danger, or the guide won't answer it, the program shows you crisis resources right away and records that one message for a person on our side to read. They may email you personally with resources, or to check in. If what you wrote suggests a child is being harmed, we may be required to report it. We keep these records for twelve months, then delete them. If you delete your account sooner, your words are erased from them and they're no longer linked to you.

Your choices

Download what you've written: Account → Download everything. You get one file with your account details, progress, tools, log, guide conversations, purchases and forum posts.
Delete your account: Account → Delete my account. It's permanent, and it happens at once: your account, your writing, your progress, your forum posts, your quiz sign-up and our records of emails sent to you are deleted. What stays: a record of any purchase (what it was, the amount, the date, your email and Stripe's reference), kept for accounting, without anything you wrote; and any safety record, without your words, until it's deleted at twelve months.
Emails: the daily emails and nudges have a link to turn them off, and every letter has a link to stop them. Emails about your account, such as sign-in links, purchase emails and a reminder to finish setting up, still come.

Cookies

We count visits to our pages without cookies and without your IP address: which page, which site sent you (just its name, never the full address), the campaign tag in the link if there is one, and whether you're on a phone, tablet or computer. It's kept as daily totals, and nothing in it identifies you. On a guide, we count two more things the same way: a tap on the quiz question, and reading past halfway down the page. Your browser keeps a few small notes in its own storage, such as the page you first came in on and the campaign tag, so a visit isn't counted twice; if you buy, that first page goes with the checkout so we can see what led to it.

One cookie keeps you signed in, and inside the program a second one remembers which program you last opened. On our public pages, the page where checkout starts and the thank-you page after it (never inside the program, and never on the quiz result pages), we use Meta's pixel to learn which of our ads bring people here. Meta's script may set its own cookies. It tells Meta that a page was visited, that someone signed up for our emails, that someone started a checkout, and that a purchase happened, what kind and for how much. We've turned off its automatic collection, so it gets only those events: never your answers, your result, or anything you write. You can block it with any ad blocker, or in your Facebook ad settings, and nothing here stops working.

Adults only

The Better Father is for adults. We don't knowingly collect information from anyone under 18; if you believe a minor has signed up, write to us at daniel@thebetterfather.com and we'll delete the account.

Questions or requests

Email daniel@thebetterfather.com, and a person will answer. We date every change at the top of this page.

What we keep, and why.