The Better Father Free quiz
How to be a better father, ten minutes a day

Trying not to lose your temper with your kids?

Practice being more patient, noticing when you're about to snap, and apologizing when you do. One small thing to try at home each day.

A ten-minute daily practice for dads, in four versions by your kid's age, from babies to grown kids. Eight weeks. $149 once. No subscription.

What's hardest right now? Tap one to start the free quiz.

I lose my temper, then feel like crap afterwards I'm on my phone when they want me I bring work stress home I ask about their day and get “Fine.” I don't want to be like my dad was I'm too tired to be patient

Three more quick questions, then one thing to try tonight. Your result shows on screen. No email needed. Or read a full day free →

Or start now: $149 once, 14-day full refund

Built by Daniel Walker from his books The Accountable Life and Nobody's Watching, and from coaching hundreds of men one-on-one. About Daniel

A man and a teenage boy sit side by side at the end of a wooden dock at sunset
The moments

Does any of this sound like your house?

  • After dinnerYou yelled over something small, then felt like crap about it for the rest of the night?
  • Six-fifteen, the front doorYou got home too stressed from work, and the first thing out of your mouth was sharp?
  • SaturdayHe wanted to show you something, and you didn't look up from your phone?
  • Pickup“How was school?” “Fine.” And that was the whole conversation?
  • Any nightYou heard your father's voice come out of your mouth, the one you swore you'd never use?
  • LaterYou apologized, and then you added a “but”?

If one of those sounds familiar, keep reading. You'll still lose it some days. Everyone does. This is about noticing it sooner in the moment, and knowing what to say after. If none of them sound like you, this probably isn't for you right now, and that's worth knowing.

The one line before bed

Every night ends with one honest line.

Did you catch it in time, catch it late, or miss it? That's the whole log. Over eight weeks it shows you your own pattern: when it happens, what sets it off, and how long it takes you to go back and make it right. Nobody sees it but you.

This is a demo of the log inside the program. Try it.

Demo

Before bed, one line:

Today, when the heat came up, how did it go?

How did it go?

Caught it in time means you felt it coming and did something other than snap. Write one line: what you noticed first. Your chest, your jaw, your grip on the phone.

Caught it late means the words were out, and then you noticed. That still counts. Noticing late is how you start noticing sooner.

Missed it happens to every dad. The log asks one more thing: how long until you went back and said you were wrong? Minutes, hours, or “not yet.” Nobody sees the answer but you.

Tap one to see what it means. Nothing here is saved.

Why the usual fixes don't stick

You've probably tried something already.

  • The book you never finished.

    Good ideas, a hundred pages in, and nothing to actually do on a Tuesday night.

  • Advice with no “how.”

    “Stay calm.” “Be patient.” That sounds good… but how, at six in the evening, tired, when it's already happening?

  • Another app that wants a subscription.

    A monthly charge for something you'll open twice. This is $149 once, and there's nothing to cancel.

So each day here is one small thing you can do tonight. Not a lesson to remember. Something like putting your phone in another room for the two hours before bed, or one breath at the front door before you walk in. You can read three real days below, word for word.

How it works

Ten minutes a day. The rest happens at home.

  1. MorningA short read.

    Two or three minutes on your phone: a scene from the books and one idea in plain words.

  2. EveningOne thing to try at home.

    Something concrete, at dinner, at the door, at bedtime. Not in an app.

  3. Before bedOne line in your log.

    Caught it in time, caught it late, or missed it. A minute.

The honest time: about ten minutes to read and log. The thing at home happens inside time you already spend with your kids: dinner, the drive, bedtime. Once a week there's a project day, something to build or fix together, and the program suggests fifteen minutes to an hour a week for it, depending on your kid's age. Talking a day through with Ray, the AI guide, is optional.

Three days from the eight weeks, word for word

Week 2 · Day 11The machine in your pocket
What you do that day

For the two hours before your kid's bedtime tonight, put your phone in another room. Keep your usual rules about their screens; tonight is about yours. With a little one, that's usually dinner, bath and bedtime. With an older kid, it's the stretch when they're most likely to wander in and talk. If you're waiting on a call or need a recipe, leave the sound up and walk to it.

An evening task from week two. Nothing to say to your kid about it; just the phone, gone.

Week 6 · Day 41An apology with nothing after “but”
What you do that day

Draft one plain apology in the letter tool. Cut everything after every "but." Send it when you're ready, not when it's perfect.

The apology exercise from week six. The letter tool in the program points out every “but” as you write.

Week 7 · Day 48Your part, and only your part
What you do that day

List your part, and only your part, in the thing from yesterday. Then move one item on the list today.

A reflection from week seven, once you've practiced the small stuff for a while.

Why eight weeks, and not 56 tips

Each week builds on the one before. You can't catch your temper before you've noticed what it feels like, and an apology lands differently once you've practiced on small stuff first.

  1. Week 1

    Starting where you are: the hour your patience runs out, what to say after you yell, the walk in the door, and a project with your kid.

  2. Week 2

    Where you snap and what comes first, your dad's lines in your mouth, the phone in your pocket, and staying okay while you're still hot.

  3. Week 3

    Feelings are real, but they aren't always right about what's going on.

  4. Week 4

    What you picked up from your own father, and whose voice comes out of your mouth.

  5. Week 5

    Dropping the act, going first, and naming it in three words.

  6. Week 6

    Practicing on small stuff, owning a miss, and apologizing with nothing after “but.”

  7. Week 7

    Deciding ahead of time what you stand for, and owning your part.

  8. Week 8

    The mood you bring home, the people closest to you, and what you'll keep doing.

See every day of the eight weeks →

Before you decide

Read a whole day first. It's free.

This is all of day five, exactly as you'd see it in the program: the morning read, the thing to try, and the line for the log. The days are short on purpose. The work happens after you close the page.

Day 5 · Side by side, not face to face
Day 5 · Seeing What's There

Side by side, not face to face

"How was school?" "Fine." "What did you do?" "Nothing." With a three-year-old it's a blank look and a request for a snack. Same result.

We sit our kids down because that's how adults perform caring: the check-in voice, the careful question across the table. It lands like a summons, and it often reaches nobody.

In the books, the grandfather, Ray, never sits his grandson down. "Sitting a person down is for people who want to perform a conversation." He hands Chet an end of something (a board, a flashlight under the hood, a rope) and the words come out around the work, "almost like they snuck in while you were busy."

A lot of kids open up sideways, while you're both looking at something else. A four-year-old tells you about the bad dream while you're stacking blocks. A twelve-year-old tells you about the kid at lunch from the back seat, because in the car nobody has to look at anybody. The car, the sink, the floor, the yard.

Some won't say much either way. The time still counts. So today, skip the report on their day. Be next to them, doing something, and let the quiet sit.

Over the next eight weeks you'll also do one thing together each week that needs two sets of hands. Tomorrow you choose it. Today, start a list.

Try tonight

Tonight, spend ten minutes side by side with your kid, doing something with your hands, and don't ask for a report on their day. With a little one: blocks, a puzzle, drawing next to them, washing the dishes together. With an older kid: an errand in the car, shooting hoops, cooking something. If they bring something up, follow it and keep your hands busy. If they don't, that's fine too. Before bed, write down three things the two of you could do over the next few weeks that need two sets of hands, and that they might actually want to do.

Log it

What you did side by side, anything that came out, and three possible projects.

That's one day of 56. $149 once for all eight weeks. No subscription.

Full refund within 14 days of buying. Just email us. You don't have to explain or show your log.

One thing to try tonight

The sentence after “but.”

Most of us apologize and then hand the bill back: “I'm sorry I yelled, but…” Try the version with nothing after it. Tap through it.

Why this works, and how to say it to a teenager →

The sentence after “but”
  1. What most of us say“I'm sorry I yelled, but you weren't listening.”
  2. Remove the excuse“I'm sorry I yelled.”
  3. Add what's true“I yelled. That wasn't fair. You didn't deserve that.”

Everything after the “but” hands the bill back to your kid. Cut it. Say what you did, say it wasn't fair, and stop. Then give your child room to answer, or not. It comes from day 41 of The Better Father: An apology with nothing after “but”. How to apologize after yelling →
Who's behind it

Daniel Walker built this for the father he was.

Twenty-five years in business taught Daniel how to be big and be right. It didn't teach him how to be close to his own kids. He spent five years in law enforcement, two and a half of them as a commissioned deputy, and he has coached hundreds of men one-on-one. He wrote two books about one family's line of fathers and sons, The Accountable Life and Nobody's Watching.

The Better Father is those books turned into something you can do on a Tuesday night: each idea became one small thing to try at home, in the order a dad needs them.

  • 25 years in business
  • 5 years in law enforcement
  • Hundreds of men coached
  • Author of two books

Read Daniel's story →

What changes, and what doesn't

You'll still lose it some days.

Practice noticing before you snap, and what to say when you do. That's the whole aim. Nobody honest can promise more.

Every night's line stays in your log. Before day one you answer a few questions about where you're starting. On day 56 you answer them again and put the two side by side. What you make of the difference is yours to decide.

This is for you if…

  • You love your kids and still lose your temper more than you want to.
  • You come home too stressed from work, and they get the worst of it.
  • Your kid gives you one-word answers and you can't get past “Fine.”
  • You were raised by a yeller and don't want to hand it down.
  • You'd rather try one small thing a day than read another book.

It isn't for you if…

  • Anyone in your house is in danger, or has been hurt. Get help today: call 911, or call or text 988.
  • You're thinking about not being here. Call or text 988 tonight.
  • You need counseling. This is a self-guided practice, not therapy.
  • You want someone to check your work every week. There's no coach and no group calls.
  • You want a promise of results by a date. Nobody can honestly give you one.
Before you buy

How it works after you pay.

Where it runs
In your phone's browser, or on a computer. No app to install. A short email at the hour you choose links straight to the day.
When days open
One new day each morning in your time zone, for 56 days. Past days stay open.
If you miss a day
It waits for you. No streak to break, and nobody's counting but you.
How long you have it
Everything stays open after the eight weeks, for as long as we run the program. Go back to any day, keep logging.
Ray, the AI guide
Ray is an AI chat inside the program, named after the grandfather in Daniel's books. Ask him about your day; he answers from the books. Optional: the read, the thing at home and the log work without him. He isn't a counselor.
Your kids
Never involved. It's for adults only. Your kid never logs in, and nothing you write goes to them.
Who sees what you write
Nobody but you. The one exception is safety: if something you write suggests someone may be in danger, a person on our side reads it. Privacy, in full.
Help
Questions before or after you buy? Reply to any email from us, and a person will answer.
The price

$149 once, for all eight weeks.

The Better Father · eight weeks

$149 once

About $2.66 a day over 56 days. No subscription. Nothing to cancel.

Four versions by your kid's age, from babies to grown kids. You pick at setup and can switch later.

  • 56 days: a short morning read, one thing to try at home, one line in your log
  • Ray, an AI chat named after the grandfather in Daniel's books: ask him about your day, and he answers from the books (optional)
  • Short worksheets for the harder days, like a letter for when you owe your kid an apology
  • Stays open after the eight weeks, for as long as we run the program

Full refund within 14 days of buying. Just email us. You don't have to explain or show your log.

not ready?
What's hardest right now? Take the 1-minute quiz

Give the program as a gift. They get an email with a code and your note. See what they'd get: all of day five.

Questions dads ask first

The honest answers.

All the questions →

Is it too late? My kid's twelve.

No. The program comes in four versions by your kid's age, and twelve fits the 6 to 13 version. The weekly project days work with a twelve-year-old as well as a five-year-old. Day five, above, is about exactly that: getting a kid to talk by working beside him.

How much time does it really take?

About ten minutes to read and log. The thing to try happens inside time you already spend with your kids. Project days, once a week, suggest fifteen minutes to an hour together, depending on your kid's age. Miss a day and it waits.

My wife isn't on board. Or she's the one who sent me this.

Either way, it's yours. Nobody else sees your answers or your log, and nothing asks her to take part. Some days ask you to do something differently with the person closest to you. If she's the one who found it, you can still read day five and take the free quiz before anyone spends anything.

I've read the books. Why would this be different?

Most books stop at the idea. Each day here ends with one thing to try at home that evening and one line to log before bed, so the idea gets used on a real Tuesday. Read day five above and judge for yourself.

My kid has ADHD. Or my kid's a special case.

The practice is about you: what happens in you before you snap, and what you say after. That doesn't depend on your kid's diagnosis. It doesn't replace advice from your kid's doctor or counselor, and it doesn't try to.

How fast will it work?

We don't promise a timeline, because nobody honest can. What you get is a small thing to practice each day and a log that shows your own pattern. You'll still lose it some days. What you do in the minutes after is what you practice.

Do I have to talk to the AI? Does my kid see any of this?

No, and no. Ray is optional; the daily practice works without him. Your kid never uses the program. It's adults only, and nothing you write goes anywhere but your own account.

What if it doesn't work for me?

Yes. Email us within 14 days of buying for a full refund. You don't have to explain, and nobody asks to see your log.

Free guides for dads

Start with what's in front of you tonight.

All the guides →

The free quiz for dads

What's hardest with your kids right now?

Answer four quick questions. Get one thing to try tonight, and see how the eight-week practice works. Free. No email needed.

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